I Don’t Always Feel Like Showing Up
I don’t always feel like showing up.
That’s how I feel this morning.
And I’ve felt this way many times before.
I haven’t always been as consistent as I’d like — or better yet, it’s not always easy to be consistent. But I try.
This morning, I woke earlier than usual, did my devotion, and did some writing. It’s now less than 30 minutes before my usual morning walk… but I don’t feel like going.
Am I tired? If I probe a little deeper, I will, most likely, say yes.
But does not walking today make me inconsistent or undisciplined? No. And I’m not beating myself up about it, either.
For so long, we’ve been told to push through.
Tired? Keep going.
Not in the mood? Do it anyway.
Discomfort? Hustle harder.
But what if, instead of forcing it, we listened to that deeper part of us that says, “Just be still today.”
I’ve had times when pushing a little further worked. But I’ve also had times when I should have paused and didn’t — and both choices had consequences. Sometimes, pushing drained me. Sometimes, pausing restored me. Other times, it just reminded me that I’m human.
There have been moments where I’ve allowed myself to pause — to be — without guilt. And those moments have been freeing.
We talk a lot about consistency — I do too.
How important it is.
How it requires intentionality, discipline, and effort.
But we don’t always talk about how much it asks of us.
How, on some days, showing up takes more than usual — and how it can feel like pulling from an empty cup.
Recently, while scrolling through my phone, I noticed that most of my photos and videos show me working.
Not glamorous. Not curated. Just me in the grind.
And I thought — this is the season I’m in.
The gritty, unfiltered part that prepares me for the moments I will one day celebrate.
The part that many don’t see,
The daily showing up.
The posting.
The behind-the-scenes.
The walking.
The “I don’t feel like it” mornings.
Consistency often doesn’t look or feel glamorous — and it rarely gets applause in the moment. It’s only when the results show up that people take notice.
But here’s the truth: for me, it is gritty.
Some days, I’m ready and raring to go.
Other days, I’m like, “Not today, chile. I need a break.”
And that doesn’t mean I’m not consistent.
Because for me, consistency with walking looks like four times a week. Last week? I walked seven times and clocked 33.5 km. That’s the most I’ve done in a long time — because it’s the season for it, and I’m doing a walking challenge.
But consistency isn’t just about frequency. It’s about pacing ourselves, knowing our rhythms, and recognising when to push and when to pause.
Define Consistency for Yourself
Consistency for me is about finding what works for you and showing up the best way you possibly know how.
And in doing that, it’s important to identify how it’s actually working for you.
I remember a time when I was walking consistently, and my goal then was to lose weight. I was showing up — doing the walks, staying disciplined — but I wasn’t losing any weight. That was frustrating. So, I started evaluating what I was eating, thinking maybe I was missing something obvious. But what I uncovered was deeper. There was a hormonal imbalance at play.
That’s the thing about consistency — it helps to uncover what’s working, and what’s not, and sometimes, it exposes deeper issues that need attention.
For me, self-assessment is non-negotiable. It’s what helps me know when to push and when to pull back.
For example, when I’m in planning mode, I might get excited and decide I want to accomplish five things in a day — because it sounds ambitious, and I’m hyped. But when I reflect and assess, I realise that in the past, I’ve consistently done three things well. And if I must do five, I’ll need to shift something — maybe ask for help, delegate, or extend the timeline.
Self-checks, physical cues, emotional flags — all of those guideposts help me discern when to give more and when to pause, reassess, redefine my goals, and then move forward with more clarity. Without those checkpoints, I’d just keep going and doing — but not necessarily knowing what’s working or what needs to change.
Seasons of Grind vs. Seasons of Rest
I’ve also talked a lot about seasons — seasons of rest versus seasons of grind.
Personally, I don’t subscribe to the idea that we must always be in grind mode. But I recognise when I’m in a season that requires me to dig deep — to press in and do the uncomfortable things to get to the other side of a result.
I’ve learned this, too: there are times when digging deeper won’t actually get me the result I want. Sometimes, what I need most is rest — not another checklist, not another push.
Life, I’m realising is not just about doing what the world says you should be doing. It’s about getting to know yourself. Being honest with yourself. And making peace with your own decisions — whether they lead to success or setback, growth or pause.
Because showing up consistently doesn’t mean ignoring your needs or pretending you’re okay when you’re not. It means honouring your capacity, adjusting when needed, and having the courage to listen inward — even if it means stepping back, being still, or changing direction.
Maybe you’re in a season of push. Maybe you’re in a season of pause.
Maybe your body is saying, “Let’s go.”
Or maybe it’s whispering, “Just breathe.”
Whatever season you’re in, give yourself permission to listen.
To self-check.
To redefine what showing up looks like — for you.
So today, if you feel like pulling back, maybe it’s not inconsistency — maybe it’s insight. What season are you in? And what’s your version of showing up?
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